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Justice Write Now

JUSTICE WRITE NOW

A series of 30min writing workouts profiling black writers and writing as activism.

The injustices that we are talking about now, prompted by the murder of George Floyd, unfortunately have been going on for a very long time. It’s good that there is a loudness amongst white people now though it’s a shame that it’s taken us this long.

I wanted to shine a light on the writing that’s been happening for decades around this topic - and also create a space for creatively processing the horrendous things that have happened, are still happening and happen IN THE UK (indeed were inherited from the US!) Please comment any books, poems, or writers I should try and reference and read!

Black Lives Matter.

Top 5 poetry-teaching tips

Before anything else, teach them how to free-write. The privacy and personal freedom gets them in the writing ‘zone’.
Be ridiculously organised and understand all of your activities but let the students sway the session.
Give them their own poetry books. This becomes a sacred space where honesty appears most.
‘I can’t’ seems to linger in the classroom. These two tactics have been the most effective: Say ‘I’ve seen you perform before’ with a knowing facial expression that says ‘.. and you were amazing’, or simply ignore the comment and they miraculously continue.
Provide lots of colourful pens.

Top Nine Feedback Points from SST6 Drafts

The idea of feedback and helpful criticism has been really hot at Mouthy the last week. So here is a collection of Deb’s common feedback points given on the SST6 poems. Think about these when writing or redrafting your poems to get them as tight as possible!

1) Form and Concision.

Look at every stanza in your poem as a unit of meaning; an image, an event, a tone – each new stanza changes the event, meaning, image or tone and looking at line breaks a highlighting elements on these. This enables you to cut out repetition, tighten up images, reorder sentences and ask yourself – what do I actually mean here or what is the most important point in this unit? Is this unit important at all?

If your poem feels unwieldly, like it’s got more words or longer sentences than it needs, try playing around with a more rigid stanza formation.

2) Word Choices.

Get out the thesaurus and ask yourself if there are more accurate/original options for words – this gives you the opportunity to out every word in the thesaurus and make sure you have chosen the best, most rhythmic for your poem. Each word has slightly different tones and add a layer of impact to the poem. Spending more time over word choices will help you tighten up certain phrases and images.

No clichés! You have a unique set of experiences and perspectives which people want to see in your poems! If you find yourself using a word-out phrases, challenge yourself and ask – what do I really mean? Then brainstorm some alternative metaphors, similes and images. You can also try to put each word of the cliché in the thesaurus and come up with a more accurate and original alternative.

3) So What?

What’s the point of including this? This is a question poets and performers have to ask themselves a lot. Maybe a free write explaining this would help you pin it down. Or try drawing a diagram of use different characters and images in your poem and what they represent to you. Another thing you can do is work in small details that allude to a bigger picture of what the poem is about or its central metaphor. This is especially important at the beginning and ending of your poem.

4) Choosing a Title.

Read this post about the different purposes of a title. After reading this, make a short list of ten titles, then you can go back to them after editing your poem again. You could talk to other people about which they think works best or even set up a Facebook voting poll to choose the right one.

5) Get Specific.

Instead of using undefined ideas or ambiguous sentences, give specifics. ”Stop what you’re doing” – what are they doing? The washing up, scratching their arse, drinking their macchiato…? A specific reference will tell the audience more about what kind of poem you are creating.

Try to show instead of tell, through images and examples. For instance, rather than saying ‘she is losing him’ replace the generalisation with examples – “she is forgetting the smell of the toast he makes her”, “she is losing the creases in the shirts he washed for her”.

6) Poetry Doesn’t Have to Rhyme.

Watch out for rhymes. It’s easy to get caught up and be lead by the rhyme rather than the meaning, which sounds lovely but can make the meaning not so clear. Have a look at your strong rhyming sections and ask yourself: is this what I really mean? Are these the most accurate words for my feelings/story or am I just choosing them because they rhyme? Poetry doesn’t have to rhyme – go for words which convey exactly what you want to mean rather than have a particular sound.

7) Grammar.

Consistent what tense and person perspective you are writing in. Make sure it stays consistent throughout, unless it is completely deliberate and changes for poetic effect. If you want to carry a sense of immediacy and personal honesty, stay in the first person. Also

8) Cutting.

If you have really strong particular lines or images, consider cutting out some of the less strong ones to let the vital parts shine and be taken in by your audience.

9) Characters

If your poem is very long or has lots of different characters, this can be confusing for an audience especially if you use a lot of ‘he’ or ‘she’ or ‘they’. Try drawing a diagram of the different characters and the relationship between them or bullet point the action of the poem. Then redraft your poem to make sure these are clear from what you’ve written. Ask other people to listen and check that they’ve understood so you know your audience will follow.

~ feedback by Debs, compiled and edited by the Creative Placements

15 points to Editing Success…

Debris here. Over the past 8 years, I have worked with some amazing writers; Jacob Sam-La Rose, Roger Robinson, Caroline Bird, Jean Binta-Breeze, Peter Kahn … the list is endless! I feel so thankful for the advice these people have given me and I have folder upon folder of editing advice from them in my house!

Here are 15 consolidated points from all these amazing writers + me!

Editing Advice & Questions Worth Asking…

The following advice is to create a dynamic and effective piece. The rules can be broken, but not just because ‘you want to’, you must have a reason and believe me I will want a good one.

What is this poem about & What do you want this poem to make your audience feel? Answer these questions, and then use the rest of these points to help you refine your poem to achieve this OR to help you work out what they are.
Does your first line grab the audience’s attention? (If not, what’s to stop them thinking about dinner?)

Have you used any clichés or unoriginal language/imagery?
- Do you mind using chewing gum that has been chewed 50 times before you, because that is what a cliché is!
Have you used any metaphors or similes? If not why not? Can you change any of your similes to metaphors? These are often stronger.
Remove any unnecessary repetition. If you have used repetition, why? Is there a purpose to it?
Are you SHOWING (action, and concrete imagery) or TELLING (abstract nouns and statements). Showing is usually stronger. E.g. “She was dying” (telling) could be “He was wearing a Big Bird costume in ASDA” (showing).
What tense is your piece in? What person is your piece in? Could changing either/both make it more interesting or effective?
SPECIFICITY!!! Have you been specific enough? What further details could you add?
How many abstract nouns have you used (things you cannot touch e.g. sadness, justice and politics)? Could you employ more concrete nouns instead (things you can touch, see and smell like a desk or a daisy)?
POEMS DON’T HAVE TO RHYME. So if a rhyme is not working don’t force it.
What has changed by the end of your piece? Has an epiphany or revelation been reached? Has a perspective been changed? The audience will want to feel some sort of accomplishment from your piece by experiencing a journey which finishes somewhere different from its starting point. This could be subtle or big, literal or metaphorical – it is up to you, using an image to represent this change can often be effective.
Are the verbs strong enough? Verbs push the action in a poem, how do you want that action to happen? Running, screaming, fighting are all relatively vague, used verbs – try using a thesaurus to find ones more suited to what you are trying to describe e.g. barrelling, caterwauling and scuffling. Likewise are the nouns strong enough? Nouns ground the people and places in your poem, use a thesaurus to make sure you are using the right ones from all your options.
Have you used redundancies? (What are redundancies? http://mouthypoets.wordpress.com/2012/04/28/3-editing-exercises-for-stronger-poetry-2/)
Lastly, try playing with line breaks and form – put the in as many different types as you can to see which suits your purpose the best? I suggest starting simple; 3 or 4 line stanza’s with an equal line length. Each stanza should carry a unit of action or meaning. You can also play with more structured forms, research; Sestina’s, Sonnets, Villanelle’s etc. it could be what your piece is destined to become! More importantly…
you won’t know, if you don’t try.

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